There was a great
tea-drinking held in the Kirkgate of Irvine, at the house of Miss Mally
Glencairn; and at that assemblage of rank, beauty, and fashion, among
other delicacies of the season, several new-come-home Clyde skippers,
roaring from Greenock and Port- Glasgow, were served up--but nothing
contributed more to the entertainment of the evening than a proposal, on
the part of Miss Mally, that those present who had received letters from
the Pringles should read them for the benefit of the company. This was, no
doubt, a preconcerted scheme between her and Miss Isabella Tod, to hear
what Mr. Andrew Pringle had said to his friend Mr. Snodgrass, and likewise
what the Doctor himself had indited to Mr. Micklewham; some rumour having
spread of the wonderful escapes and adventures of the family in their
journey and voyage to London. Had there not been some prethought of this
kind, it was not indeed probable, that both the helper and session-clerk
of Garnock could have been there together, in a party, where it was an
understood thing, that not only Whist and Catch Honours were to be played,
but even obstreperous Birky itself, for the diversion of such of the
company as were not used to gambling games. It was in consequence of what
took place at this Irvine route, that we were originally led to think of
collecting the letters.
LETTER VIII
Miss Rachel Pringle
to Miss Isabella Tod--LONDON.
My Dear Bell--It was
my heartfelt intention to keep a regular journal of all our proceedings,
from the sad day on which I bade a long adieu to my native shades--and I
persevered with a constancy becoming our dear and youthful friendship, in
writing down everything that I saw, either rare or beautiful, till the
hour of our departure from Leith. In that faithful register of my feelings
and reflections as a traveller, I described our embarkation at Greenock,
on board the steam-boat,--our sailing past Port-Glasgow, an insignificant
town, with a steeple;--the stupendous rock of Dumbarton Castle, that
Gibraltar of antiquity;--our landing at Glasgow;--my astonishment at the
magnificence of that opulent metropolis of the muslin manufacturers; my
brother's remark, that the punch-bowls on the roofs of the Infirmary, the
Museum, and the Trades Hall, were emblematic of the universal estimation
in which that celebrated mixture is held by all ranks and
degrees--learned, commercial, and even medical, of the inhabitants;--our
arrival at Edinburgh--my emotion on beholding the Castle, and the
visionary lake which may be nightly seen from the windows of Princes
Street, between the Old and New Town, reflecting the lights of the lofty
city beyond--with a thousand other delightful and romantic circumstances,
which render it no longer surprising that the Edinburgh folk should be, as
they think themselves, the most accomplished people in the world. But,
alas! from the moment I placed my foot on board that cruel vessel, of
which the very idea is anguish, all thoughts were swallowed up in
suffering-swallowed, did I say? Ah, my dear Bell, it was the odious
reverse--but imagination alone can do justice to the subject. Not,
however, to dwell on what is past, during the whole time of our passage
from Leith, I was unable to think, far less to write; and, although there
was a handsome young Hussar officer also a passenger, I could not even
listen to the elegant compliments which he seemed disposed to offer by way
of consolation, when he had got the better of his own sickness. Neither
love nor valour can withstand the influence of that sea-demon. The
interruption thus occasioned to my observations made me destroy my
journal, and I have now to write to you only about London--only about
London! What an expression for this human universe, as my brother calls
it, as if my weak feminine pen were equal to the stupendous theme!
But, before entering
on the subject, let me first satisfy the anxiety of your faithful bosom
with respect to my father's legacy. All the accounts, I am happy to tell
you, are likely to be amicably settled; but the exact amount is not known
as yet, only I can see, by my brother's manner, that it is not less than
we expected, and my mother speaks about sending me to a boarding-school to
learn accomplishments. Nothing, however, is to be done until something is
actually in hand. But what does it all avail to me? Here am I, a solitary
being in the midst of this wilderness of mankind, far from your
sympathising affection, with the dismal prospect before me of going a
second time to school, and without the prospect of enjoying, with my own
sweet companions, that light and bounding gaiety we were wont to share, in
skipping from tomb to tomb in the breezy churchyard of Irvine, like
butterflies in spring flying from flower to flower, as a Wordsworth or a
Wilson would express it.
We have got elegant
lodgings at present in Norfolk Street, but my brother is trying, with all
his address, to get us removed to a more fashionable part of the town,
which, if the accounts were once settled, I think will take place; and he
proposes to hire a carriage for a whole month. Indeed, he has given hints
about the saving that might be made by buying one of our own; but my
mother shakes her head, and says, "Andrew, dinna be carri't." From all
which it is very plain, though they don't allow me to know their secrets,
that the legacy is worth the coming for. But to return to the lodgings;-
-we have what is called a first and second floor, a drawing-room, and
three handsome bedchambers. The drawing-room is very elegant; and the
carpet is the exact same pattern of the one in the dress- drawing-room of
Eglintoun Castle. Our landlady is indeed a lady, and I am surprised how
she should think of letting lodgings, for she dresses better, and wears
finer lace, than ever I saw in Irvine. But I am interrupted. -
I now resume my pen.
We have just had a call from Mrs. and Miss Argent, the wife and daughter
of the colonel's man of business. They seem great people, and came in
their own chariot, with two grand footmen behind; but they are pleasant
and easy, and the object of their visit was to invite us to a family
dinner to-morrow, Sunday. I hope we may become better acquainted; but the
two livery servants make such a difference in our degrees, that I fear
this is a vain expectation. Miss Argent was, however, very frank, and told
me that she was herself only just come to London for the first time since
she was a child, having been for the last seven years at a school in the
country. I shall, however, be better able to say more about her in my next
letter. Do not, however, be afraid that she shall ever supplant you in my
heart. No, my dear friend, companion of my days of innocence,--that can
never be. But this call from such persons of fashion looks as if the
legacy had given us some consideration; so that I think my father and
mother may as well let me know at once what my prospects are, that I might
show you how disinterestedly and truly I am, my dear Bell, yours,
RACHEL PRINGLE.
When Miss Isabella
Tod had read the letter, there was a solemn pause for some time--all
present knew something, more or less, of the fair writer; but a carriage,
a carpet like the best at Eglintoun, a Hussar officer, and two footmen in
livery, were phantoms of such high import, that no one could distinctly
express the feelings with which the intelligence affected them. It was,
however, unanimously agreed, that the Doctor's legacy had every symptom of
being equal to what it was at first expected to be, namely, twenty
thousand pounds;--a sum which, by some occult or recondite moral influence
of the Lottery, is the common maximum, in popular estimation, of any
extraordinary and indefinite windfall of fortune. Miss Becky Glibbans,
from the purest motives of charity, devoutly wished that poor Rachel might
be able to carry her full cup with a steady hand; and the Rev. Mr.
Snodgrass, that so commendable an expression might not lose its edifying
effect by any lighter talk, requested Mr. Micklewham to read his letter
from the Doctor.
LETTER IX
The Rev. Z. Pringle,
D.D., to Mr. Micklewham, Schoolmaster and Session-Clerk of
Garnock--LONDON.
Dear Sir--I have
written by the post that will take this to hand, a letter to Banker M-y,
at Irvine, concerning some small matters of money that I may stand in need
of his opinion anent; and as there is a prospect now of a settlement of
the legacy business, I wish you to take a step over to the banker, and he
will give you ten pounds, which you will administer to the poor, by
putting a twenty-shilling note in the plate on Sunday, as a public
testimony from me of thankfulness for the hope that is before us; the
other nine pounds you will quietly, and in your own canny way, divide
after the following manner, letting none of the partakers thereof know
from what other hand than the Lord's the help comes, for, indeed, from
whom but HIS does any good befall us!
You will give to auld
Mizy Eccles ten shillings. She's a careful creature, and it will go as far
with her thrift as twenty will do with Effy Hopkirk; so you will give Effy
twenty. Mrs. Binnacle, who lost her husband, the sailor, last winter, is,
I am sure, with her two sickly bairns, very ill off; I would therefore
like if you will lend her a note, and ye may put half-a-crown in the hand
of each of the poor weans for a playock, for she's a proud spirit, and
will bear much before she complain. Thomas Dowy has been long unable to do
a turn of work, so you may give him a note too. I promised that donsie
body, Willy Shachle, the betherel, that when I got my legacy, he should
get a guinea, which would be more to him than if the colonel had died at
home, and he had had the howking of his grave; you may therefore, in the
meantime, give Willy a crown, and be sure to warn him well no to get fou
with it, for I'll be very angry if he does. But what in this matter will
need all your skill, is the giving of the remaining five pounds to auld
Miss Betty Peerie; being a gentlewoman both by blood and education, she's
a very slimmer affair to handle in a doing of this kind. But I am
persuaded she's in as great necessity as many that seem far poorer,
especially since the muslin flowering has gone so down. Her bits of brats
are sairly worn, though she keeps out an apparition of gentility. Now, for
all this trouble, I will give you an account of what we have been doing
since my last.
When we had gotten
ourselves made up in order, we went, with Andrew Pringle, my son, to the
counting-house, and had a satisfactory vista of the residue; but it will
be some time before things can be settled--indeed, I fear, not for months
to come--so that I have been thinking, if the parish was pleased with Mr.
Snodgrass, it might be my duty to my people to give up to him my stipend,
and let him be appointed not only helper, but successor likewise. It would
not be right of me to give the manse, both because he's a young and
inexperienced man, and cannot, in the course of nature, have got into the
way of visiting the sick-beds of the frail, which is the main part of a
pastor's duty, and likewise, because I wish to die, as I have lived, among
my people. But, when all's settled, I will know better what to do.
When we had got an
inkling from Mr. Argent of what the colonel has left,--and I do assure
you, that money is not to be got, even in the way of legacy, without
anxiety,--Mrs. Pringle and I consulted together, and resolved, that it was
our first duty, as a token of our gratitude to the Giver of all Good, to
make our first outlay to the poor. So, without saying a word either to
Rachel, or to Andrew Pringle, my son, knowing that there was a daily
worship in the Church of England, we slipped out of the house by
ourselves, and, hiring a hackney conveyance, told the driver thereof to
drive us to the high church of St. Paul's. This was out of no respect to
the pomp and pride of prelacy, but to Him before whom both pope and
presbyter are equal, as they are seen through the merits of Christ Jesus.
We had taken a gold guinea in our hand, but there was no broad at the
door; and, instead of a venerable elder, lending sanctity to his office by
reason of his age, such as we see in the effectual institutions of our own
national church--the door was kept by a young man, much more like a
writer's whipper-snapper-clerk, than one qualified to fill that station,
which good King David would have preferred to dwelling in tents of sin.
However, we were not come to spy the nakedness of the land, so we went up
the outside stairs, and I asked at him for the plate; "Plate!" says he;
"why, it's on the altar!" I should have known this--the custom of old
being to lay the offerings on the altar, but I had forgot; such is the
force, you see, of habit, that the Church of England is not so well
reformed and purged as ours is from the abominations of the leaven of
idolatry. We were then stepping forward, when he said to me, as sharply as
if I was going to take an advantage, "You must pay here." "Very well,
wherever it is customary," said I, in a meek manner, and gave him the
guinea. Mrs. Pringle did the same. "I cannot give you change," cried he,
with as little decorum as if we had been paying at a playhouse. "It makes
no odds," said I; "keep it all." Whereupon he was so converted by the
mammon of iniquity, that he could not be civil enough, he thought--but
conducted us in, and showed us the marble monuments, and the French
colours that were taken in the war, till the time of worship--nothing
could surpass his discretion.
At last the organ
began to sound, and we went into the place of worship; but oh, Mr.
Micklewham, yon is a thin kirk. There was not a hearer forby Mrs. Pringle
and me, saving and excepting the relics of popery that assisted at the
service. What was said, I must, however, in verity confess, was not far
from the point. But it's still a comfort to see that prelatical
usurpations are on the downfall; no wonder that there is no broad at the
door to receive the collection for the poor, when no congregation entereth
in. You may, therefore, tell Mr. Craig, and it will gladden his heart to
hear the tidings, that the great Babylonian madam is now, indeed, but a
very little cutty.
On our return home to
our lodgings, we found Andrew Pringle, my son, and Rachel, in great
consternation about our absence. When we told them that we had been at
worship, I saw they were both deeply affected; and I was pleased with my
children, the more so, as you know I have had my doubts that Andrew
Pringle's principles have not been strengthened by the reading of the
Edinburgh Review. Nothing more passed at that time, for we were disturbed
by a Captain Sabre that came up with us in the smack, calling to see how
we were after our journey; and as he was a civil well-bred young man,
which I marvel at, considering he's a Hussar dragoon, we took a coach, and
went to see the lions, as he said; but, instead of taking us to the Tower
of London, as I expected, he ordered the man to drive us round the town.
In our way through the city he showed us the Temple Bar, where Lord
Kilmarnock's head was placed after the Rebellion, and pointed out the Bank
of England and Royal Exchange. He said the steeple of the Exchange was
taken down shortly ago--and that the late improvements at the Bank were
very grand. I remembered having read in the Edinburgh Advertiser, some
years past, that there was a great deal said in Parliament about the state
of the Exchange, and the condition of the Bank, which I could never
thoroughly understand. And, no doubt, the taking own of an old building,
and the building up of a new one so near together, must, in such a crowded
city as this, be not only a great detriment to business, but dangerous to
the community at large.
After we had driven
about for more than two hours, and neither seen lions nor any other
curiosity, but only the outside of houses, we returned home, where we
found a copperplate card left by Mr. Argent, the colonel's agent, with the
name of his private dwelling-house. Both me and Mrs. Pringle were
confounded at the sight of this thing, and could not but think that it
prognosticated no good; for we had seen the gentleman himself in the
forenoon. Andrew Pringle, my son, could give no satisfactory reason for
such an extraordinary manifestation of anxiety to see us; so that, after
sitting on thorns at our dinner, I thought that we should see to the
bottom of the business. Accordingly, a hackney was summoned to the door,
and me and Andrew Pringle, my son, got into it, and told the man to drive
to second in the street where Mr. Argent lived, and which was the number
of his house. The man got up, and away we went; but, after he had driven
an awful time, and stopping and inquiring at different places, he said
there was no such house as Second's in the street; whereupon Andrew
Pringle, my son, asked him what he meant, and the man said that he
supposed it was one Second's Hotel, or Coffee- house, that we wanted. Now,
only think of the craftiness of the ne'er-da-weel; it was with some
difficulty that I could get him to understand, that second was just as
good as number two; for Andrew Pringle, my son, would not interfere, but
lay back in the coach, and was like to split his sides at my confabulating
with the hackney man. At long and length we got to the house, and were
admitted to Mr. Argent, who was sitting by himself in his library reading,
with a plate of oranges, and two decanters with wine before him. I
explained to him, as well as I could, my surprise and anxiety at seeing
his card, at which he smiled, and said, it was merely a sort of practice
that had come into fashion of late years, and that, although we had been
at his counting-house in the morning, he considered it requisite that he
should call on his return from the city. I made the best excuse I could
for the mistake; and the servant having placed glasses on the table, we
were invited to take wine. But I was grieved to think that so respectable
a man should have had the bottles before him by himself, the more
especially as he said his wife and daughters had gone to a party, and that
he did not much like such sort of things. But for all that, we found him a
wonderful conversible man; and Andrew Pringle, my son, having read all the
new books put out at Edinburgh, could speak with him on any subject. In
the course of conversation they touched upon politick economy, and Andrew
Pringle, my son, in speaking about cash in the Bank of England, told him
what I had said concerning the alterations of the Royal Exchange steeple,
with which Mr. Argent seemed greatly pleased, and jocosely proposed as a
toast,--"May the country never suffer more from the alterations in the
Exchange, than the taking down of the steeple." But as Mrs. Pringle is
wanting to send a bit line under the same frank to her cousin, Miss Mally
Glencairn, I must draw to a conclusion, assuring you, that I am, dear sir,
your sincere friend and pastor,
ZACHARIAH PRINGLE.
The impression which
this letter made on the auditors of Mr. Micklewham was highly favourable
to the Doctor--all bore testimony to his benevolence and piety; and Mrs.
Glibbans expressed, in very loquacious terms, her satisfaction at the
neglect to which prelacy was consigned. The only person who seemed to be
affected by other than the most sedate feelings on the occasion was the
Rev. Mr. Snodgrass, who was observed to smile in a very unbecoming manner
at some parts of the Doctor's account of his reception at St. Paul's.
Indeed, it was apparently with the utmost difficulty that the young
clergyman could restrain himself from giving liberty to his risible
faculties. It is really surprising how differently the same thing affects
different people. "The Doctor and Mrs. Pringle giving a guinea at the door
of St. Paul's for the poor need not make folk laugh," said Mrs. Glibbans;
"for is it not written, that whosoever giveth to the poor lendeth to the
Lord?" "True, my dear madam," replied Mr. Snodgrass, "but the Lord to whom
our friends in this case gave their money is the Lord Bishop of London;
all the collection made at the doors of St. Paul's Cathedral is, I
understand, a perquisite of the Bishop's." In this the reverend gentleman
was not very correctly informed, for, in the first place, it is not a
collection, but an exaction; and, in the second place, it is only
sanctioned by the Bishop, who allows the inferior clergy to share the
gains among themselves. Mrs. Glibbans, however, on hearing his
explanation, exclaimed, "Gude be about us!" and pushing back her chair
with a bounce, streaking down her gown at the same time with both her
hands, added, "No wonder that a judgment is upon the land, when we hear of
money-changers in the temple." Miss Mally Glencairn, to appease her
gathering wrath and holy indignation, said facetiously, "Na, na, Mrs.
Glibbans, ye forget, there was nae changing of money there. The man took
the whole guineas. But not to make a controversy on the subject, Mr.
Snodgrass will now let us hear what Andrew Pringle, 'my son,' has said to
him":- And the reverend gentleman read the following letter with due
circumspection, and in his best manner:-
LETTER X
Andrew Pringle, Esq.,
to the Reverend Charles Snodgrass
My Dear Friend--I
have heard it alleged, as the observation of a great traveller, that the
manners of the higher classes of society throughout Christendom are so
much alike, that national peculiarities among them are scarcely
perceptible. This is not correct; the differences between those of London
and Edinburgh are to me very striking. It is not that they talk and
perform the little etiquettes of social intercourse differently; for, in
these respects, they are apparently as similar as it is possible for
imitation to make them; but the difference to which I refer is an
indescribable something, which can only be compared to peculiarities of
accent. They both speak the same language; perhaps in classical purity of
phraseology the fashionable Scotchman is even superior to the Englishman;
but there is a flatness of tone in his accent--a lack of what the
musicians call expression, which gives a local and provincial effect to
his conversation, however, in other respects, learned and intelligent. It
is so with his manners; he conducts himself with equal ease,
self-possession, and discernment, but the flavour of the metropolitan
style is wanting.
I have been led to
make these remarks by what I noticed in the guests whom I met on Friday at
young Argent's. It was a small party, only five strangers; but they seemed
to be all particular friends of our host, and yet none of them appeared to
be on any terms of intimacy with each other. In Edinburgh, such a party
would have been at first a little cold; each of the guests would there
have paused to estimate the characters of the several strangers before
committing himself with any topic of conversation. But here, the
circumstance of being brought together by a mutual friend, produced at
once the purest gentlemanly confidence; each, as it were, took it for
granted, that the persons whom he had come among were men of education and
good-breeding, and, without deeming it at all necessary that he should
know something of their respective political and philosophical principles,
before venturing to speak on such subjects, discussed frankly, and as
things unconnected with party feelings, incidental occurrences which, in
Edinburgh, would have been avoided as calculated to awaken animosities.
But the most
remarkable feature of the company, small as it was, consisted of the
difference in the condition and character of the guests. In Edinburgh the
landlord, with the scrupulous care of a herald or genealogist, would, for
a party, previously unacquainted with each other, have chosen his guests
as nearly as possible from the same rank of life; the London host had paid
no respect to any such consideration--all the strangers were as dissimilar
in fortune, profession, connections, and politics, as any four men in the
class of gentlemen could well be. I never spent a more delightful evening.
The ablest, the most
eloquent, and the most elegant man present, without question, was the son
of a saddler. No expense had been spared on his education. His father,
proud of his talents, had intended him for a seat in Parliament; but Mr.
T- himself prefers the easy enjoyments of private life, and has kept
himself aloof from politics and parties. Were I to form an estimate of his
qualifications to excel in public speaking, by the clearness and beautiful
propriety of his colloquial language, I should conclude that he was still
destined to perform a distinguished part. But he is content with the
liberty of a private station, as a spectator only, and, perhaps, in that
he shows his wisdom; for undoubtedly such men are not cordially received
among hereditary statesmen, unless they evince a certain suppleness of
principle, such as we have seen in the conduct of more than one political
adventurer.
The next in point of
effect was young C- G-. He evidently languished under the influence of
indisposition, which, while it added to the natural gentleness of his
manners, diminished the impression his accomplishments would otherwise
have made. I was greatly struck with the modesty with which he offered his
opinions, and could scarcely credit that he was the same individual whose
eloquence in Parliament is by many compared even to Mr. Canning's, and
whose firmness of principle is so universally acknowledged, that no one
ever suspects him of being liable to change. You may have heard of his
poem "On the Restoration of Learning in the East," the most magnificent
prize essay that the English Universities have produced for many years.
The passage in which he describes the talents, the researches, and
learning of Sir William Jones, is worthy of the imagination of Burke; and
yet, with all this oriental splendour of fancy, he has the reputation of
being a patient and methodical man of business. He looks, however, much
more like a poet or a student, than an orator and a statesman; and were
statesmen the sort of personages which the spirit of the age attempts to
represent them, I, for one, should lament that a young man, possessed of
so many amiable qualities, all so tinted with the bright lights of a fine
enthusiasm, should ever have been removed from the moon-lighted groves and
peaceful cloisters of Magdalen College, to the lamp-smelling passages and
factious debates of St. Stephen's Chapel. Mr. G- certainly belongs to that
high class of gifted men who, to the honour of the age, have redeemed the
literary character from the charge of unfitness for the concerns of public
business; and he has shown that talents for affairs of state, connected
with literary predilections, are not limited to mere reviewers, as some of
your old class-fellows would have the world to believe. When I contrast
the quiet unobtrusive development of Mr. G-'s character with that bustling
and obstreperous elbowing into notice of some of those to whom the
Edinburgh Review owes half its fame, and compare the pure and steady
lustre of his elevation, to the rocket-like aberrations and perturbed
blaze of their still uncertain course, I cannot but think that we have
overrated, if not their ability, at least their wisdom in the management
of public affairs.
The third of the
party was a little Yorkshire baronet. He was formerly in Parliament, but
left it, as he says, on account of its irregularities, and the bad hours
it kept. He is a Whig, I understand, in politics, and indeed one might
guess as much by looking at him; for I have always remarked, that your
Whigs have something odd and particular about them. On making the same
sort of remark to Argent, who, by the way, is a high ministerial man, he
observed, the thing was not to be wondered at, considering that the Whigs
are exceptions to the generality of mankind, which naturally accounts for
their being always in the minority. Mr. T-, the saddler's son, who
overheard us, said slyly, "That it might be so; but if it be true that the
wise are few compared to the multitude of the foolish, things would be
better managed by the minority than as they are at present."
The fourth guest was
a stock-broker, a shrewd compound, with all charity be it spoken, of
knavery and humour. He is by profession an epicure, but I suspect his
accomplishments in that capacity are not very well founded; I would almost
say, judging by the evident traces of craft and dissimulation in his
physiognomy, that they have been assumed as part of the means of getting
into good company, to drive the more earnest trade of money-making. Argent
evidently understood his true character, though he treated him with
jocular familiarity. I thought it a fine example of the intellectual tact
and superiority of T-, that he seemed to view him with dislike and
contempt. But I must not give you my reasons for so thinking, as you set
no value on my own particular philosophy; besides, my paper tells me, that
I have only room left to say, that it would be difficult in Edinburgh to
bring such a party together; and yet they affect there to have a
metropolitan character. In saying this, I mean only with reference to
manners; the methods of behaviour in each of the company were precisely
similar--there was no eccentricity, but only that distinct and decided
individuality which nature gives, and which no acquired habits can change.
Each, however, was the representative of a class; and Edinburgh has no
classes exactly of the same kind as those to which they belonged.--Yours
truly,
ANDREW PRINGLE.
Just as Mr. Snodgrass
concluded the last sentence, one of the Clyde skippers, who had fallen
asleep, gave such an extravagant snore, followed by a groan, that it set
the whole company a-laughing, and interrupted the critical strictures
which would otherwise have been made on Mr. Andrew Pringle's epistle.
"Damn it," said he, "I thought myself in a fog, and could not tell whether
the land ahead was Plada or the Lady Isle." Some of the company thought
the observation not inapplicable to what they had been hearing.
Miss Isabella Tod
then begged that Miss Mally, their hostess, would favour the company with
Mrs. Pringle's communication. To this request that considerate maiden
ornament of the Kirkgate deemed it necessary, by way of preface to the
letter, to say, "Ye a' ken that Mrs. Pringle's a managing woman, and ye
maunna expect any metaphysical philosophy from her." In the meantime,
having taken the letter from her pocket, and placed her spectacles on that
functionary of the face which was destined to wear spectacles, she began
as follows:-
LETTER XI
Mrs. Pringle to Miss
Mally Glencairn
My Dear Miss Mally--We
have been at the counting-house, and gotten a sort of a satisfaction; what
the upshot may be, I canna take it upon myself to prognosticate; but when
the waur comes to the worst, I think that baith Rachel and Andrew will
have a nest egg, and the Doctor and me may sleep sound on their account,
if the nation doesna break, as the argle-barglers in the House of
Parliament have been threatening: for all the cornal's fortune is sunk at
present in the pesents. Howsomever, it's our notion, when the legacies are
paid off, to lift the money out of the funds, and place it at good
interest on hairetable securitie. But ye will hear aften from us, before
things come to that, for the delays, and the goings, and the comings in
this town of London are past all expreshon.
As yet, we have been
to see no fairlies, except going in a coach from one part of the toun to
another; but the Doctor and me was at the he-kirk of Saint Paul's for a
purpose that I need not tell you, as it was adoing with the right hand
what the left should not know. I couldna say that I had there great
pleasure, for the preacher was very cauldrife, and read every word, and
then there was such a beggary of popish prelacy, that it was compassionate
to a Christian to see.
We are to dine at Mr.
Argent's, the cornal's hadgint, on Sunday, and me and Rachel have been
getting something for the okasion. Our landlady, Mrs. Sharkly, has
recommended us to ane of the most fashionable millinders in London, who
keeps a grand shop in Cranburn Alla, and she has brought us arteecles to
look at; but I was surprised they were not finer, for I thought them of a
very inferior quality, which she said was because they were not made for
no costomer, but for the public.
The Argents seem as
if they would be discreet people, which, to us who are here in the jaws of
jeopardy, would be a great confort--for I am no overly satisfeet with many
things. What would ye think of buying coals by the stimpert, for anything
that I know, and then setting up the poker afore the ribs, instead of
blowing with the bellies to make the fire burn? I was of a pinion that the
Englishers were naturally masterful; but I can ashure you this is no the
case at all--and I am beginning to think that the way of leeving from hand
to mouth is great frugality, when ye consider that all is left in the
logive hands of uncercumseezed servans.
But what gives me the
most concern at this time is one Captain Sabre of the Dragoon Hozars, who
come up in the smak with us from Leith, and is looking more after our
Rachel than I could wish, now that she might set her cap to another sort
of object. But he's of a respectit family, and the young lad himself is no
to be despisid; howsomever, I never likit officir-men of any description,
and yet the thing that makes me look down on the captain is all owing to
the cornal, who was an officer of the native poors of India, where the pay
must indeed have been extraordinar, for who ever heard either of a cornal,
or any officer whomsoever, making a hundred thousand pounds in our
regiments? no that I say the cornal has left so meikle to us.
Tell Mrs. Glibbans
that I have not heard of no sound preacher as yet in London--the want of
which is no doubt the great cause of the crying sins of the place. What
would she think to hear of newspapers selling by tout of horn on the
Lord's day? and on the Sabbath night, the change-houses are more throng
than on the Saturday! I am told, but as yet I cannot say that I have seen
the evil myself with my own eyes, that in the summer time there are tea-
gardens, where the tradesmen go to smoke their pipes of tobacco, and to
entertain their wives and children, which can be nothing less than a
bringing of them to an untimely end. But you will be surprised to hear,
that no such thing as whusky is to be had in the public-houses, where they
drink only a dead sort of beer; and that a bottle of true jennyinn London
porter is rarely to be seen in the whole town--all kinds of piple getting
their porter in pewter cans, and a laddie calls for in the morning to take
away what has been yoused over night. But what I most miss is the want of
creem. The milk here is just skimm, and I doot not, likewise well
watered--as for the water, a drink of clear wholesome good water is not
within the bounds of London; and truly, now may I say, that I have learnt
what the blessing of a cup of cold water is.
Tell Miss Nanny
Eydent, that the day of the burial is now settled, when we are going to
Windsor Castle to see the precesson--and that, by the end of the wick, she
may expect the fashions from me, with all the particulars. Till then, I
am, my dear Miss Mally, your friend and well-wisher,
JANET PRINGLE.
NOTO BENY.--Give my
kind compliments to Mrs. Glibbans, and let her know, that I will, after
Sunday, give her an account of the state of the Gospel in London.
Miss Mally paused
when she had read the letter, and it was unanimously agreed, that Mrs.
Pringle gave a more full account of London than either father, son, or
daughter.
By this time the
night was far advanced, and Mrs. Glibbans was rising to go away,
apprehensive, as she observed, that they were going to bring "the carts"
into the room. Upon Miss Mally, however, assuring her that no such
transgression was meditated, but that she intended to treat them with a
bit nice Highland mutton ham, and eggs, of her own laying, that worthy
pillar of the Relief Kirk consented to remain.
It was past eleven
o'clock when the party broke up; Mr. Snodgrass and Mr. Micklewham walked
home together, and as they were crossing the Red Burn Bridge, at the
entrance of Eglintoun Wood,--a place well noted from ancient times for
preternatural appearances, Mr. Micklewham declared that he thought he
heard something purring among the bushes; upon which Mr. Snodgrass made a
jocose observation, stating, that it could be nothing but the effect of
Lord North's strong ale in his head; and we should add, by way of
explanation, that the Lord North here spoken of was Willy Grieve,
celebrated in Irvine for the strength and flavour of his brewing, and
that, in addition to a plentiful supply of his best, Miss Mally had
entertained them with tamarind punch, constituting a natural cause
adequate to produce all the preternatural purring that terrified the
dominie.